enjoy.

This break was totally unplanned and unexpected, but I'm finally starting to enjoy it. It was a hard couple of weeks trying to sort everything out in my mind and although I'm not happy that I don't have a baby bump, I AM happy that I can make the most of the time before our FET. E and I are having a great time not worrying about our life being on a schedule and not canceling plans at the last minute. We also have been telling ourselves that this is our last holiday season without either being pregnant or having a baby, so we have to enjoy every bit of it, right?

Something else I missed dearly while doing IVF was running. As soon as I was able to put my asics back on I did, but during my two week slump I was trying to run too fast and becoming discouraged that I wasn't able to run like I used to. Well, today was different. It is rainy and cold here, but I told myself before going out that I would have two mottos: enjoy and one foot in front of the other. Every time I was running too fast or pushing too hard I told myself "enjoy" and then was reminded to just put one foot in front of the other. I felt great during my run because I stopped trying to race against myself.

Of course I relate everything back to infertility as that is just how my mind works these days. So, on the home stretch into our neighborhood I told myself that running is like our infertility journey.

Life is a marathon you just have to keep running it. One foot in front of the other, one step at time. We will get there.