E and I just returned from our long visit with Dr. Russell. He still could not find anything in my tubes or anywhere else, but my BW showed that my hcg is still rising, so it is obviously growing somewhere. We waited for him to decide if the shot or surgery was our best option and he went with the shot - whew! I go back on Tuesday to make sure my level is going down, which would indicate the pregnancy is dissolving. I'm not sure how to feel at this point because this whole experience is surreal. I'm still shocked that this even happened in the first place as it was nothing I had ever even anticipated. I feel like someone just pushed pause on our life as we won't be able to try again until December/January. I know the break will be good for us, but it is just hard for me to put to rest something I desire so badly.
So, onto focusing on other things I guess. I'm going to start running again next week, which will probably be brutal at first since it has been 6 weeks. I'm hoping I can do a race in a couple of months. Time to focus just on school and just being normal again.. I guess?? I'm hoping that the new year fills this hole I have in my heart and brings us what we have been craving for so long.
Laur it is with mixed feelings that I say that I hope your HCG level drops by your next visit. It is bitter sweet to say that, but as you know it is what's best. I am so sorry you have to wait a few months to get started again. I know you wouldn't have choosen a break on your own so I really hope that this forced break allows you to regain your strength while becoming you again. By that I mean running, having a cup of coffee or a glass of wine, eating things you wouldnt eat while TTC, etc. I hope you & Eric enjoy these fews months and find the positive side to it. I am sure you will because that's what makes you two perfect for eachother. I can't wait for the new year and I just know you and Eric will become parents you so desire to be in 2011!
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